Yesterday was Ascension Day. Did you know that? I didn't until I moved to the Netherlands and found out it is a mandatory holiday. Odd, considering most of the Dutch don't even believe in it. But that's not why I'm writing today.
As I sat in church yesterday for a special service in honor of Jesus' ascension to Heaven, my mind could not help but wander to thinking about my team. Shelby and Steve, two of my teammates, left today. They are returning home to raise their financial support to come back to Tilburg for a second year. During the two days prior to all of this happening, we were going through a debrief of the year, and it's fair to say I cried quite a bit.
If you know me, you know I am a VERY people-oriented person. That made this year both easier and harder in different ways. It meant that most of the struggles I had revolved around issues with people; these are also the same struggles that have caused most of my personal growth during the last 10 months. But I very much have God to thank for putting these 7 people--Heiko, Agnes, Shelby, Molly, Steve, Nick, and Eric--in my life to spur me on in love so I would develop and change into a better person.
We sat at dinner on Wednesday night: Heiko and Agnes were giving out sentimental notes and gifts to each of us; the couple that conducted our debrief were sharing honest and encouraging words about re-entry to our home culture; my teammates were sharing how they've grown this year and how grateful they are for everything. I'm bawling. As some of them shared about how they've seen me grow and what they appreciate about me, I could not stop the tears from falling from my eyes and down my face. When my turn to share came around, I was more focused on preventing myself from absolutely sobbing in the middle of the public restaurant than on what I was actually saying. And there was no way I was going to be able to LOOK at my teammates! But I just couldn't stop thinking about how hard it will be to go home, leave this amazing place, but more importantly and more immediately, how hard it will be to leave this family. We have had a lot of hard times, and we have not always liked each other. But we don't have to like each other. We do have to LOVE each other, and I honestly believe we have and will continue to.
What does this all have to do with Ascension Day, you may ask? Well I was thinking about how the disciples must have felt as they watched Jesus leave them. Their friend, mentor, Messiah, was leaving them. I would imagine they must have been sad, possibly crying, fearing the unknown with Him gone. However, Luke 24:52 says, immediately after Jesus was taken into Heaven, "Then [the disciples] worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy." Maybe it was easy, but maybe some of them had to make the choice to rejoice and be glad despite the circumstances. And that's what I need to do. No, I am NOT saying Shelby, Steve, and my other teammates are anything close to Jesus (not yet at least!), but they ARE my brothers, sisters, friends, mentors, and more. I will miss each of them so much, and it was hard to watch Shelby and Steve leave this morning. But I CHOOSE to rejoice: to rejoice that I have gotten to know them so well this year; that they have been patient, full of grace, and quick to forgive me; that they loved me, even when they didn't like me; that they gave me an atmosphere where I could make mistakes, learn, and grow; that even though they were difficult, that we experience the hard times and the struggles; and that we WILL see each other again soon, even if it is Heaven.
I praise God for Heiko, Agnes, Shelby, Molly, Steve, Nick, and Eric. And I rejoice for every single thing that has happened this year.
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